Modifying is Empowering

Ever since I decided to open a yoga studio and teach yoga in my hometown, I’ve been overwhelmed by the positive responses I’ve received. I guess I’m not the only one who thought there was a need for yoga in our community.

Besides excitement and genuine interest, there’s been another common thread amongst nearly everyone I’ve spoken to and that would be a certain level of anxiety and uncertainty regarding their ability to practice yoga. I’ve heard things like, “I don’t know anything about yoga, but I want to learn”; “I don’t know if I can do yoga; I can barely get up and down off the floor”; “I’m so out of shape, I don’t know where to start”; and “I hope you’ll be patient with me.” (Of course, I’ll be patient with you!)

Because of this, I decided to share something really incredible that I learned while practicing yoga. It has absolutely changed my life. It is simple, yet powerful. Don’t blink or you’ll miss it.

Modifying is empowering.

Let me explain.

When I first began yoga teacher training, I immersed myself in yoga. I watched DVDs and YouTube videos. I followed big-name yogis on Instagram and watched them demonstrating the most difficult poses with perfect alignment. I looked up precise instructions on how to perform the perfect Warrior I pose. And I worried that I would never be able to do Wheel Pose, Chaturanga, or a headstand. And what would happen if I couldn’t perform some of these difficult poses? Could I still become a yoga teacher?

I tried to keep up with the faster yoga styles like Power Yoga and Vinyasa Yoga, but every time there was a fast transition from one pose to another, say stepping from Downward Facing Dog forward into Warrior II, smoothly and without hesitation; I would waiver, nearly falling over. My inner ear and vertigo would not allow me to make these transitions in the same way as everyone else. I needed to move more slowly. Fix my gaze on something. Rise up with ease. Place my feet in position and then glide into my own Warrior II from there. It’s not that it looked bad. I was just always a pace behind everyone else.

One day, I was doing a Yoga with Adriene sequence on YouTube and Adriene (Mishler) was giving tips on how to modify the poses. Now, this was nothing new. I had always known there were ways to modify yoga poses. I just didn’t want to modify them. I wanted to do them exactly as they were intended to be done. Surely there was a way to strengthen my body enough, to practice enough, to increase my flexibility enough; that I would eventually be able to do every pose without modifications, right? I am laughing at my previous, younger, naïve, crazy self even as I type this. Because, well, that was my ego talking.

Adriene went on to say something so powerful to me (I actually felt like she was talking directly to me) during this video. She said, “Modifying is so empowering, don’t you think?” And everything suddenly shifted. A light bulb came on in my head and my whole outlook changed. I had been trying to figure out how to make my body do things it wasn’t capable of doing- certainly not at that time, and possibly never. But I kept pushing my body to do what it kept telling me it could not. What it should not. Did I want to hurt myself? Why wasn’t I listening to my own body?

That was a good question.

From that day forward, I began to give myself permission to modify poses to fit my body’s needs. I began to take my time and transition from pose to pose more slowly and with more ease than the quick transitions Power Yoga and Vinyasa required (asked) of me. It sometimes meant I was behind the flow of the teacher, the other students; but that was okay. I felt… empowered. For the first time, I was standing up for my own body. I was defending it against being hurt, exhausted, humiliated, or pushed beyond its limits.

Soon enough, this feeling began to know itself off the mat as well. I began to think about how often I did things I didn’t want to do. How many times I said yes when I really wanted to say no. And I began to notice how often I ignored my body’s needs and pushed on, continuing to work when I was hungry or thirsty or needed to go to the bathroom.

My body, I realized, needed me to stand up for it. And when I didn’t, my body began to feel betrayed, anxious. I mean, really guys, if you can’t stand up for your own body, who will?

This whole thought process was amazing to me. I wondered if my having ignored my body for so long could have contributed to my having been diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis a few years ago. And how about the Premature Ventricular Contractions I sometimes experienced? Maybe I had inadvertently contributed to the development of those, too, by ignoring my body’s needs and not taking care of it for so long. How many times, in my younger years, had I skipped breakfast? Eaten only a candy bar and a soda for lunch? Gone a whole day without drinking any water? How many times had I sat at my desk diligently working away, ignoring the need to get up, stretch, use the bathroom, take a walk?

I had been treating my body like a machine. And one I had never even gotten to know very well. I treated my car with more compassion.

Once I took the whole “modifying is powerful” idea off the mat, I began to feel better. It was like my body had been waiting for me to speak up for it. I thought about how much my body had done for me over the years and how I had taken it all for granted. It had trudged along, mile after mile, year after year, without truly proper care. And I’m not just talking about eating healthy foods, drinking clean water, exercising, resting. I’m also addressing the fact that every time I did something I knew I didn’t want to do because I didn’t want to upset someone else, my body wilted a little. Every time I forced my body to push on through a set of yoga poses I wasn’t ready for, that someone else was dictating to me, my body responded with mistrust and sadness. I could just feel it. I could feel the betrayal of myself by myself.

Part of why I love practicing Yin Yoga so much is because it is so introspective. You are constantly paying attention to how you feel, to what’s going on inside your body. There’s this beautiful, unspoken internal dialogue and awareness that begins to develop. Where is there tenseness? Can you release the tension there? Breathe into it? Soften it? Is there pain? There should never be pain. Never. Back out of the pose. Breathe. Go slow. Feel. Feel everything.

Yin Yoga teaches you to trust that your body knows what it needs. Because it does. It’s just been waiting for you to listen.

Yoga and modifying were made for each other… because yoga is not about getting into the perfect pose. Yoga is about getting to know yourself, your true self. And then listening to what it has to say. Some days, your body may say, yes, it’s ready to lean forward into Cobbler’s Pose a little bit more. And you know this because it feels good. And other days, you aren’t even able to go as deeply into Cobbler’s Pose as you did the day before. And that’s okay, too. Your body knows best. Your right side may be more flexible than your left, or vice versa. It’s all good. No worries. Just listen to what your body says. Really listen. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that phrase since I began practicing yoga: Listen to what your body says. It was drilled into our heads during yoga teacher training. In the beginning, I said the words, rehearsed them in my mind. But it was only later that the words really meant something to me.

So, if any of you are worried about not being ready for a yoga class, about your lack of knowledge regarding yoga, about how your body may not be ready take on this new venture; I say this: Please. Please give yourself compassion. I promise I will give you compassion, too.

There are so many ways to modify yoga to fit your body’s needs. We use blocks, bolsters, and blankets to prop up certain areas of the body that need a little help or a little softening. We use straps to hold parts of the body we can’t reach… yet. Or ever. It doesn’t matter. We perform poses laying down, against the wall, or with a chair if we can’t do them standing up or sitting. And for those of you who have a difficult time getting up and down off of the floor, there is Chair Yoga.

Yes, yoga has thought of everyone. Because… Yoga. Is. For. Every. Body.

As for me, I never did get into a headstand. I’m not sure I ever will. I did do a handstand against the wall, though, and that was pretty cool. And Legs Up the Wall is a really nice and relaxing way to get some of the same benefits as a headstand. I practiced Chaturangas during yoga teacher training and was finally able to do them; but found out I really shouldn’t. I fell on my right shoulder a few years back and Chaturangas cause me to have shoulder pain for weeks after I perform them. It’s okay, though. I can modify by placing my knees on the floor- or just skipping the pose altogether. I ask my body what it wants at that moment and then I respond. As for Wheel Pose, I’ve been working on the flexibility of my back through Yin Yoga practice, and I am able to get a bit deeper into back bends now than I could before. But, I’m not sure I will ever get deeply into a full Wheel Pose because I have Vertigo and inner ear issues. Hanging with my head upside down and backward sets it off. And it’s just not worth it to me. There are so many other poses I can do to reap the same benefits that Wheel Pose provides. I can always do Bridge Pose or Cobra, Up Dog or Camel, Hero, Sphinx or Seal, even Supported Fish is a nice alternative. I’m not worried.

And you shouldn’t be either.

I’ll end with this beautiful quote from creator and writer, Nayyirah Waheed:

‘and I said to my body. softly. ‘i want to be your friend.’ it took a long breath. and replied ‘i have been waiting my whole life for this.’

Namaste.